The idea for this conversation started with this
I came across where a writer advised women not report sexual harassment. I used this opportunity to bring in an HR professional into the mix. I had the pleasure of chatting with Zena Thomas, a certified HR professional and creator of
. We had a candid conversation about how today’s culture affects how sexual harassment may manifest itself in the workplace, even in subtle ways, and what to do about it.
Cathy:
What is Sexual harassment?
Zena:
Sexual harassment is something that is an unwanted sexual act or an aggressive offense towards a person. In order for it to be technically defined as sexual harassment it has to be consistent and
egregious. So you could have an incident that is considered inappropriate, unless it’s unwanted and continuous then it would not be consider sexual harassment. For example, someone putting up a picture of a woman in her bathing suit up in their cubical where everyone can see, that would be offensive and under most corporate workplaces it would be inappropriate, but that wouldn't be consider sexual harassment; versus, someone such as a boss who continuously makes inappropriate sexual remarks to one of their employees, if it’s unwanted. For it to be unwanted [the offender] has to know that it is unwanted.
Cathy:
What should an employee do in the first incident of sexual harassment?
Zena:
At the first incident they should acknowledge the incident by telling the offender. This can fall under any time type of harassment, if you're being offended you should let that person know and I say it's easier said than done, so I usually tell people to say, "Hey, that offended me" or "Hey, that made me uncomfortable" or "That didn't feel right," to let that person know that it's something that did not feel good to you. And then after that, if you're comfortable, then yes you should go to your manager first, unless it’s your manager [that's the offender], then you can go to HR. But if somebody makes a joke about a woman having big breast that's not something you would go to HR about necessarily, unless it's something that's been repeated and you've told that person to stop. I would agree with the article that you mentioned to say that you would not go to HR for every little sexual offense that may happen in the workplace, because you probably would be at HR a lot. But, if you have someone that continues to harass you in a sexual matter, then the first thing that you should do is to let them know that you want them to stop, that you're not comfortable with it, you won't tolerate it and that you're offended. And then if they continue to proceed with the inappropriate behavior, then you should let your manager know and/or HR.
Cathy:
I'd like to go back a little to what you said, so if you let the person know at the first instance that he or she made you uncomfortable, then go to your manager? Or, if you're okay with that should you leave the situation as is once you've let offender know?
Zena:
I think it is okay to leave it as is, but it's up to you. Everyone has a different level of sensitivity. As a seasoned professional with many years in a corporate environment I'm less offended than most people are, but I would say that if you're uncomfortable with letting the offender know, then of course let someone else know. But you are your first defense. A lot of times people don't know that they've offended you unless you tell them. I would not say that with every offense or inappropriate thing you should pull management in on. I do think that as an employee, professional, and a team member you owe it to the person to tell them that they made you feel uncomfortable, even if it is your boss which may be a little bit more difficult. I think the person will respect you more if you tell them first how the action made you feel. In the long run it will help you in the work environment if you're the first person to communicate how you feel to the offender.
Cathy:
People may feel uncomfortable about approaching their manager about any grievances that they may have and may be a bit hesitant about approaching a manager regarding workplace issues. What would you advise if someone was sexually harassed specifically by a superior?
Zena:
If it is your superior, then you should go to HR right away. In any work environment that I worked in and with my management style, we just don't say that we have zero tolerance, we mean it. Your manager should be working with you to help you achieve success in the workplace and if they are harassing you or offending you, then that's not happening. If you’re in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable with confronting the person, then definitely go to HR so that they can help you get the issue resolved. I like to encourage people to try to find the strength at least once to tell the person that they offended them, even if it is your manager. But if you can't, definitely bring it to HR.
Cathy:
How do you feel about calling the anonymous hotline that some companies have for their employees as opposed to revealing yourself by going directly to Human Resources.
Zena:
I've worked for one of the Fortune 50 companies and have experience with that. It's a tool there for you to use so definitely take advantage of it. The one thing that you must know is that it’s not totally anonymous. If it's something like harassment, then it's something that is going to be investigated. And I always tell people this and I am sure other HR professionals would agree. If you bring something to me then I have to try to resolve it. You can't tell me that you've been sexually harassed and not tell me who sexually harassed you. If you are coming to me I am assuming that you would like to resolve the problem and that's what I am there to do. So I highly encourage people as a method for reporting to use those tools, but for something like sexual harassment which may be different from whistle blowing, reporting thief, or other inappropriate conduct at work, there will more than likely be an investigation.
Cathy:
As an experienced HR professional, can you tell me an incident where somebody did something that seemed harmless, but was taken as sexual harassment?
Zena:
Yes, I worked a company with a very young workforce where most people were in their twenties. It was very collegiate atmosphere with young leaders. There was an incident where one of the team members (who actually sat beside the young lady) had received an email that showed a very voluptuous woman and they referred her body shape in an inappropriate way in reference to the only female coworker on the team. She saw the email and she was in tears; very offended and embarrassed. She didn't go to HR, however she told somebody else and it got to HR and at that point we had to take action. We found that the email was forwarded on and that even her manager was part of the email chain. To be honest with you, I can't say that most people would have considered it as being sexual harassment. If it was Kim Kardashian and they said she looked like her, it may not have been as offensive. But it was offensive and inappropriate and we did consider it sexual harassment, especially if there was leadership involved. As a leader, our expectation is that if they saw that they would bring the hammer down and say, "This is inappropriate," and take action. That's a case that may seem innocent, maybe, but is offensive. It was an indication of the culture because there were 6-7 people who saw the email who did not think it was offensive.
Cathy:
You brought a good point about how culture plays a big part on what may be considered sexually harassment.
Zena:
Absolutely! Sexual harassment is sexual harassment, but in terms of how it manifests in the workplace I think it varies from job to job, industry to industry, and culture to culture. And that's why it's very important that if you are offended to let it be known. As you become more mature in your professional career, it's important that you have the ability to communicate when you're uncomfortable or offended. I want to acknowledge that it's not always easy, but when you do you're setting yourself up for success in terms of how people treat and respect you. Be really honest and forthcoming about how you want to treated as a professional and how you want to be perceived. It is so easy to turn a blind eye and work in a workforce where sexual harassment is running so rampant that when something does happen and someone takes a stand it becomes a shock to the culture of the workplace. It’s important for both men and woman to take a stand when there is something inappropriate and doesn't look or feel right. Whether it's when you say something inappropriate and a person says, "I am offended" you just say, "I'm sorry I offended you. I didn't realize that hurt you. I now know that was inappropriate and I won't do it again." We are no longer is the days where the boss is slapping somebody in the bottom asking them to go fix some coffee. Today sexual harassment may manifest itself in little comments that may come up in everyday conversation, but are inappropriate for the workplace.
Zena Thomas is an experienced Human Resources professional located in the Washington DC area. Zena is the founder of Her Savvy Career, a blog dedicated to supporting women through the world of work. Learn more about Zena on www.hersavvycareer.com and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @hersavvycareer.